My Dad

 This page is all about my dad,

Samuel

click on to enlarge

I'm going to have a great deal of difficulty knowing what to write without either insulting him or making myself a hypocrite. I do love him but until lately I haven't really liked him. Since mum died though he seems so much more vulnerable and nice. As he's still alive, unlike my grandparents etc, it is even more worrying in case anybody shows this to him. Not that he has ever taken any interest in what I have done and I don't expect him to start now. Like most little girls I always wanted praise from my dad but it never arrived. Nothing I did was ever good enough for him. If I came home with an A on my school report I should have had two, if I got a certificate for swimming then I should have been able to complete the next level as well. In some people this might have acted as an incentive but with me I gave up and dropped out at 15. I learnt at an early age not to ask him for help with anything because all I would receive was a lecture. He never objected to being a taxi service for me though and would take me almost anywhere I asked to go.

In his own way he was a lot less strict than mum, it was him that wanted to buy me a bicycle and a canoe but in both cases mum said no. He managed to buy me a camera and a watch though. It was him that persuaded her to allow me to go to disco's etc and come home late, even getting up at 2am to come and fetch me. He is also far more generous than mum too.

To anybody that knows me it will come as no surprise to know that dad and I have never really got on, but on the other hand we have never fallen out for very long either. We have had some real humdingers of rows and many times I have told him to stop the car wherever we were and walked home. Just as quickly though the argument was forgotten and normality returned, neither of us hold grudges long. We used to get on okay if mum wasn't around and he would often take me fishing or to a football match, but it was only ever on his terms. If he didn't want to see me then I had to stay in my room and be quiet, I seemed to be treated like a posh dinner service only to be taken out and shown to visitors and then put away in the cupboard and ignored till the next time. When I was a child I would take offence at the way he treated mum and tried to stand up for her. Don't get me wrong here, he never laid a hand on either of us, the only time I can remember him smacking me is when my mum told him to. That was quite funny actually because we were on Dartmoor and I had just started to enjoy being there when it was time to go home. Mum told me to come back to the car and I (spoilt brat that I was (am)) refused and because mum was already sitting in the car told dad to go and get me. Anyway I led him a merry dance and after a while mum got fed up waiting and I let dad catch me. When we arrived back at the car mum told him to spank me so as he led me behind the car he whispered 'when my hand connects, yell!' He tapped me gently, I yelled and everybody was happy.

 Dad used to be a sail-maker in the Naval Dockyard and then moved to be a surveyor of stores, which meant he had to go to Exeter and Dawlish occasionally. On some of these trips we would go with him and spend the day sight seeing, but usually we would stay at home and have a special meal of something that he didn't like and wouldn't let mum buy. Baked beans and fish fingers or even a stew were favourites. Dad is very conservative in his food tastes, roasts and chips are about his limit. He has never had pasta, he doesn't like mashed potatoes and will not have gravy with anything.

His main passion in life was sailing and anything to do with boats. I don't think I fully understood how deeply this was in his blood until I traced the family tree and all his relatives, going back over two hundred years have been either fishermen, mariners or other trades to do with the ships such as rope or basket makers. From what mum told me he had an awful childhood, being made to study the violin when he wanted to play the saxophone, and being sent to private school. He was the eldest son and his father was very strict with him and I think his mum was too busy looking after the younger children to stick up for him. When he met mum he was often playing cricket and he lost several teeth through being hit in the mouth by the ball. I dread to think what the bowlers aim was like! He still plays snooker and has won several trophies for it. The glass cabinet in the living room is full of various cups and medals for sailing and the upstairs room is full of his sail-making gear, which he still uses sometimes.

His other main interest is politics and on many occasions he has been thrown out of meetings for asking questions that the politician doesn't want to answer. I used to enjoy going with him to these rallies just to see them get more and more annoyed at his persistence, then on the way home I would say something (even if I didn't believe it) just to stir him up again. It's no wonder he used to throw things at me!

Because of his age he has had to give up sailing and he has really missed it. He is often to be found at the local sailing club helping one or another with something, a sail that doesn't hang right or advice on boat maintenance. His new hobby is writing a local newsletter in which he basically tells anyone who reads it his views. Not unlike this web site really! The main difference being that I am not out to annoy or upset people and I'm not trying to force my opinions on others with the mistaken notion that I am always right. Of course I am but that is a different story!